The next awkward step

One of the boys from youth showed up at Potters and it was a good opportunity to disciple him in his first time coming downtown to serve. Overall he was very good at serving. He didn't question too much and he didn't mind doing manual labour such as sweeping and mopping. There were a number of people from the community whom I have formed a friendship with who called me out to talk to me. I kept the conversations short because I wanted to keep my focus on the young man. At the same time I struggled with pride. I could sense this pleasure in me for appearing so well known in the community. Especially in front of the young man who I had mentored in youth group and at times felt hadn't given me the respect I deserved. Hah!

Upon reflection of the night I am aware of some awkward moments. I set out to befriend the people of this community and get to know them and their way of life. Too a point I have done that. I have made that first contact. After two years at Potters I know most of the regulars. I don't know what daily life is like down there though. I probably never will unless I live down there. The question now is what is the next step. If I don't move forward I will only become more susceptible to the pride and self righteousness that comes from appearing to be in the know among the poor in front of the rich urban class.

This came to a point as I talked with a man whom I have put the most time into befriending. We had our regular conversation and he said he had to leave and I said simply okay, but my response was way too quickly, like I was trying to get out of the conversation because I didn't know where to take it. I have to know my mission and where to take it.

A closed fist and an open hand

On July 7^th I had the opportunity to speak at Potters. I borrowed all my material from Tim Keller and his book ‘Prodigal God’. While I was a little short and a little unsure of my final point and conclusion I was met with favorable response. I really feel that the Lord has gifted me in teaching. It is a passion of mine to study theology. Speaking is a means of teaching but I am relatively inexperienced and often have anxiety over it being a complete flop. Currently I am in fear of my next speaking opportunity because I don’t have a topic in mind. None the less I would be a fool not to exercise a gift that God has given me.

I went to sit down with a man that I have enjoyed conversing with but it was the other man at the table that I would spend the remainder of the night speaking with. He was from the Czech Republic. He told me that he was both the younger and the older son from the parable in the sermon and that he exhibited the worst traits from both. I assume he meant he lived wildly and judged harshly. He said that he believed in Jesus and that he knew that he died on the cross for his sins. The man had a lot to say.

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He began to tell me his history in the Czech Republic. He used to be part of the black market and he and three close friends were very profitable at it. Eventually an agent in the government came and saw him with a large file on all that he was doing. He was told to shut it all down or his parents would be killed. That was his fall. He eventually had to leave the country and had been living in Canada for approximately 5yrs. This is at least what I could piece together.

What really interested me were his comments about east side Vancouver. He said this would not go on in Czech Republic. The streets were owned by organized crime (organized crime is not the word he used but by his description I think that is what he was talking about). Drug dealers were beaten for open dealing. In fact it sounded like drugs in general were frowned upon by the people he was in league with in the Czech Republic. He said that people were too afraid to walk around high or drunk or dealing. They knew what was coming to them if they did. He said that if his crew were in Vancouver they would have people at each corner and when problems arose they would come together and handle the problem as a brotherhood. I remember thinking once myself that it would be cool to have guys on each corner who would stand guard and stop the violence that happens in that area of town.

He told me that he used to feed on fear and that he could sense the fear in me. Boy am I tired of being told that. I wonder if I really appear that fearful. I don’t feel that fearful but I am aware that I put myself at risk.

He had said that it was because of me that he had refrained from doing bad things. I think he meant acting violently. As he was leaving he said again that it was because of me that this whole neighborhood hadn’t gone completely to hell. I asked him what he meant by me and he said he meant the Christian presence. He said that in the Czech Republic people behaved out of fear but here it is only the Christian presence that has any effect and that that does not exist in the Czech Republic. I was asked him how we had effect because at times I feel like we are only enablers. He simply said that we made a difference but didn’t specify. I found this very encouraging and really enjoyed our conversation.

I pondered the two ways of action for a while afterward. Should you rule with an iron closed fist or an open compassionate hand? I thought of Saddam Hussein and how he kept all the different tribes in line with threats of terror and death and how the US led occupation of Iraq has resulted in much chaos as they try and bring freedom and democracy into the country. (I realize this statement is arguable but follow my thought process). I think of the UFC and how the fighters are being short changed and bullied around in their contracts but if they were to start many competitive organizations it would be very difficult to get the best fights because fighters would only be fighting for the biggest pay check. Do I follow a Jesus with blazing eyes, a sword in his mouth and robes dipped in blood or do I follow a Jesus with a broken body, hung on a cross and covered in his own blood? The answer is both. The question is how do I apply that to my ministry in the east side of Vancouver?